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While links were current when these articles were written, we have neither the time nor the inclination to chase down broken links at this latter date.

Current series

30 March 2012
Save the Pickers

Texas musicians are desperate—won’t you help?

17 Nov. 2011
Vatican Hires Paterno, Sandusky as Coaches

Creates NFL Europa team to capitalize on newly available talent

29 Sept. 2010
America’s Next Great Talking Point

The Fox reality series we’d like to see

15 July 2010
Don’t Send a Robot to Do a Cephalopod’s Work

People are too stupid to save themselves—let’s ask Paul the Octopus!

26 February 2010
The Birther

Somebody get me a cheeseburger.

25 November 2009
The Princess, the Frog, and the J.P.

Disney’s setting its new animated feature in Louisiana means the interracial prince-and-princess couple may have to live in sin.

25 March 2009
Supernannnies

Why I am not a liberal.

9 March 2009
Conservative Myths vs. Reality

Right-wing myths that don’t walk the talk.

5 November 2008
Election-Night Special

A few links regarding this amazing result.

6 October 2008
The Begginator

California bailout: collateral or collateral damage.

19 July 2008
Putin or Chávez?

Which kind of strongman will be best for post-democratic America?

25 March 2008
Extinct Specie of Bear

Wall Street firm was, in fact, infirm.

6 March 2008
Vote Early, Vote Later

Little caucus on the prairie.

8 December 2007
Christmas in the Red (No Green)

A carol for the times.

6 November 2007
Turn That Crap Down!

Austin’s latest move to shut up its musicians.

14 August 2007
Paté de Foie Gitmo

A modest proposal: Use the livers of force-fed Guantánamo prisoners for foie gras.

8 March 2007
Giuliani Time

Maybe hardcore Republicans like him because they think he’s anti-black like them.

23 December 2006
Free Charlie Rose!

Give generously or you’ll never see him again.

27 October 2006
Student Council

The grownups won’t let us vote on the big questions.

9 August 2006
Joe-bye-bye-a

A few lines on Lieberman’s defeat, with apologies to Hank.

28 July 2006
SUVs for the Homeless

How to recycle your obsolete behemoth.

9 September 2005
The Bagh Easy

Bush’s Homeland Security apparatus springs a leak.

24 August 2005
Kill a Commie for Christ

Who would Jesus assassinate?

4 June 2005
Nuke the Senate

I’d walk a mile for a unicameral.

26 October 2004
The POTUS Podium and the Tube

There’s media bias, all right — in favor of a race that’s too close to call.

9 July 2004
Dear Hamoud

Meet your new job — same as my old job.

29 June 2004
Blonde Ambitions

Madonna calls Dr. Laura.

7 June 2004
We Got Gypped by the Gipper

Not everyone loved Ronnie.

31 March 2004
Live Music Gulag

Denver should want to be less like Austin.

7 September 2003
The Needle and the Damage Done

The execution of anti-abortion murderer Paul Hill shows the futility of capital punishment.

31 August 2003
Political Theater of the Absurd
Act I
Arnold Schwarzenegger  •  Gray Davis
Cruz Bustamante  •  Arianna Huffington
California Split

The Golden State opts for entertainment over governance in this lame comedy based on a goober-natorial recall.

Act II
Tom DeLay  •  Rick Perry 
Gonzalo Barrientos
The Unforgiven

Texas Democrats vamoose to the high desert while the Grand Old Posse tries to round ’em up. But are there any good guys in this overlong Western?

Act III
Judge Roy Moore is
The Apostle

A misbegotten epic, this Moore vehicle attempts to remake The Ten Commandments but comes off more like a pale Forrest Gump.

From the original Oak

18 July 2000
The Texecutioner’s Song

George W. Bush wields the lethal syringe, proving his alpha dominance.

25 July 2000
Bush Meets Dick

For Veep choice, Bush retreads a Texan energy chief from Dad’s team.

1 Aug. 2000
Pirate Tales

Still think Napster’s the coolest? Check out Semester, Fester, and Ulster!

8 Aug. 2000
The Elephant in the Iron Mask

Dumas updated: Evil Bush switched with good twin at coronation.

15 Aug. 2000
Deformed Party

Reform Party sets downhill speed record. Next time hold a rave instead of a convention.

22 Aug. 2000
Postculturalism 101

The latest trend in academia: What to study when the culture’s run out.

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Articles © MM, MMIII–MMVIII Lindsey D. Eck. All rights reserved.
Articles may not be republished in any medium, including reuploading to the Web, without permission. While links were current at the time of writing, we have neither the time nor the inclination to maintain them.